Harvard and its Discontents

Thank God for Thanksgiving break!

Something toxic has been lingering in the air—all of our frustrations, anxieties and complaints have compounded into an inescapable vibe of discontents. Perhaps there are a select few who are 100% happy here at Harvard. But I find that highly unlikely. We’re critical people and it’s difficult to make us entirely satisfied. I’d say that the majority of my friends have seriously considered taking time off—some have been brave enough to follow-through whilst others have considered the notion a momentary lapse of judgment. Perhaps my circle of friends is a skewed sampling and our doubts about Harvard have merely peaked because of the sophomore slump. But even my friends who seem as happy as ever here have confided in me that occasionally they wonder why they’re here…we all do.

Back in high school, a Harvard psychologist gave a presentation about the mental health of college students. He cited a shocking statistic regarding the overwhelming majority of Harvard students who have been legitimately depressed at some point during their times at Harvard. At this point of my own Harvard career, I’m not surprised. But what is at the root of our unhappiness? Once we establish that, don’t we have the power to change things and make our experience better, more enjoyable, less anguished?

I suppose that our discontents can be explained by a myriad of reasons (feel free to post more!):

1. Harvard’s prestige and subsequent elitism—in any college as old as ours, traditions emerge. Customs such as housing day bring people together, while others like finals club can be undeniably divisive. Legacies grow insurmountable. For some students here at Harvard, networks of historicized, personal connections are unavoidable; others feel out of the loop. And no matter what our racial, socioeconomic, educational, or religious backgrounds, we all share the same privilege of attending Harvard—while many will bask in that glory, there are plenty of others for whom that very thought of unavoidable, shared privilege is reason to squirm.  We fear (for good reason) that we’ll grow self-absorbed in our little bubble of Harvard College.

2. People are TOO intense—in high school, the end goal was college, at least for me. The endless workload, juggling act of extracurriculars, minimal social life, and lack of sleep were all worth it because we ended up here. It’s hard to let go of that type of lifestyle. Instead, we simply refocus our energies towards a new goal, i.e. acquiring a job post-graduation. Perhaps we play a little harder but let’s be real, we’re not exactly a school of social bliss. The problem with our high-intensity lifestyle is that we will eventually get burnt out…if we aren’t already. Why do you think we all love/ relate to HarvardFML?

3. All that bureaucratic crap—simply put, Harvard’s decentralized, bureaucratic structure can be at the very least, a nuisance. Not only is the administration arguably overpaid but also, it’s all too often difficult to work with—whether for academics, extracurriculars, funding, etc. But there are tangible actions we can utilize to change things (and no offense, the UC’s not at the top of my list): think SLAM or the Say Yes to Drugs campaign—an inside/outside strategy IS possible and IS necessary.

4. Cliques and their exclusivity—now, I don’t know about the validity of this claim, but I suppose we can be rather cliquey. No longer in the freshman mode of befriending any kind passerby, we’re now comfortable and content with our “crew.” When we grow frustrated with the Harvard bubble, we find comfort in our closest group of friends. As a result, perhaps, exclusion takes place. It’s just a vicious circle from then on.

The list could go on, but my point is that I can’t put my finger on ONE thing that leads to our underlying unhappiness. And from this list, it’s very clear that our discontents aren’t rooted in Harvard itself; we’d probably undergo similar frustrations at any other college. If we went to a newly established university, we’d wish there were more tradition. If we attended a lower ranked school, we’d want people to be more academically focused, more serious about their work. If the administration were overly centralized, we’d probably think that they were overbearing adults interfering in our newfound individual freedom.

It’s not Harvard and its discontents per se…it’s US and OUR discontents. We’re young adults undergoing existentialist journeys and where else do we have the luxury to ponder our self-identification than in the lovely realm of college. Whether or not you consciously realize it, much of your discomfort as of late is probably rooted in your own personal perceptions, misconceptions, pleasures and fears. So change what little you can in Harvard’s institutionalized structure but also take the easier route: see how you can change your own mentality for the sake of your personal sanity. AKA stop whining and start enjoying all the incredible opportunities we’ve been granted-- escape the bubble here and there. Trust me, it does wonders.

Lighten Up, Harvard

Attending the #1-ranked college in the US obviously comes with its perks—abundant financial aid and resources, superior professors and course offerings, endless extracurricular activities, and most importantly, a bright, talented and eager student body. But being on top comes with the onus of responsibility. There are expectations that we should be socially conscious, politically aware and highly critical (perhaps overly so in my concentration, the lovely Social Studies). Harvard students should be educated about the status quo and consequently, be willing to analyze/criticize it…I mean, post-graduation we ARE the ones that the world’s depending on to fix everything that’s wrong, right?

After much contemplation, I know that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. It’s good that we’re critical of parties titled, “Sensation White” (sure it’s a “white party” but you’d think that the international club would be aware of this name’s racial implications) or “Fresh Off the Boat” (strangely enough, held by the Chinese club in seemingly harmless self-mockery). Our socially/ economically/ politically-charged minds don’t simply turn off outside the classroom. Hopefully, we at least utilize these academic tools in our daily conversations—beyond mere cocktail party banter.

But to be honest, sometimes I wish we’d all just lighten up. Like when somebody on my house-list asked for a feather to dress up as a Native American for a Columbus Day happy hour and after a dozen emails were exchanged within the span of less than an hour, somebody exclaimed, “People don't dress up as races- It's offensive. It’s clear that people are being a little TOO flippant with their comments tonight…I just don't know how of all places, at HARVARD, a school for the best and brightest, one would think it OK to do or say such things.” The perpetrator of the crime would then go on to explain that the entire costume with the feather was a witty political statement against the entire notion of Columbus Day in the first place. To summarize, a humorous but in its own right, politically charged remark was met with an equally socially conscious rebuttal. Seriously, within that hour, you couldn’t have been relaxing with some friends or doing something more productive than calling people out via email?

There’s an inherent self-righteousness that’s involved in one’s decision to be critical of peers, professors, intellect, etc.—it implies that you’re smart enough to “know better.” And at Harvard, this isn’t very hard. For the most part, we’re confident that we’re knowledgeable in a wide range of academia if we’ve gotten his far. And I’ll admit, I’m critical of A LOT. But I typically like to know that I’m well versed in a pool of information before I do anything with it. Which is why I was furious when a friend of mine recently accused me of constantly being supportive of “those in power,” stemming from the fact that I take notes rigorously throughout my Social Studies introductory lecture. Apparently, a legitimately analytical being can’t sit through 2 hours of being lectured at because they “know better.”

As you can probably tell from my sarcasm, I strongly disagree. I’m similarly frustrated by my “Economics: A Critical Perspective” course that miraculously sweeps through mainstream Economics in seven weeks and then proceeds to critique it for the remainder of the semester. It’s not that I only support the status quo and as my friend said, “those in power”. In fact, for my Social Studies focus field, I plan on investigating the trend of social justice and the North-South relationship of aid. I want to write my thesis on the detrimental aspect of the explosion of international NGOs and the critical role of grassroots organizations that vocalize the concerns of the local community. But this is an intellectual project that will continue for my ENTIRE student/professional career.

In the meantime, I want to have moments of pure fun uninhibited by overly critical, often cynical perspectives. Maybe that just means I need to be more careful choosing whom I spend my time with…

The Inherently Flawed Juggling Act

“Dear Diary,

This past Friday, I woke up at 8am, studied and took a midterm at 1pm. I then went to a Global Health Coalition meeting, entailing a 1-hour phone bank and 3½ hours of campaign strategizing. Throughout the endless discussion, I anxiously read an email re: research assignment for my WHO Harvard Kennedy School job. Meanwhile, I felt increasingly guilty for not having a chance to run over to the Quad and write reimbursement checks for the International Relation Council. That night, I returned to my dorm for 20 minutes and proceeded to a club social. Partied with some other friends and passed out around 3am."

WELCOME TO MY LIFE—and the hectic lives of most Harvard students. Granted, there are plenty of students who only obsess over classes and in their free time, lock themselves up in their tiny dorm rooms to study some more. But the people you’re socializing with on a daily basis are probably not such isolating characters. Instead, we all try to live well-rounded lives; we try to strike a balance between our studies, extracurricular activities, jobs and no-strings-attached fun.

If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be at Harvard. Because all of us here were once the president of some club, athletic team captain, school president, valedictorian, blah blah blah. We were what Harvard kids refer to as “that kid” in section—except we were like that in every class and every conversation. In other words, in high school, odds are you were an overambitious, overcommitted standout kid. What’re the cumulative results of my own high school experience? President of 3 student organizations (Anti-Slavery, Red Cross and Japan Clubs), piano/violin performances at Carnegie Hall and in Italy, orchestras/chamber ensembles, varsity field hockey and golf, and the list goes on.

And so here we are at Harvard. My goal at the start of college: chill. Even in middle school, my father would warn me not to stretch myself thin. My abundant interests were constantly threatening my mental health. So last year, I made the heartbreaking decision not to partake in music—no more endless orchestra rehearsals and private lessons. By springtime, I quit my WomenInBusiness board position. I limited myself to academics, 2 clubs, and most importantly, the leisure of having some fun.

But even now, I find myself constantly running from meeting to meeting, struggling to schedule dinners with friends, and skimming through reading assignments rather than carefully analyzing them. What scares me is that I find it impossible to fully commit to anything. Even if you only participate in one extracurricular, is it possible to put 100% effort into it, simultaneous to putting 100% in your academics? Or do we inevitably sacrifice a chunk of effort from one activity and redistribute it to another?

***Is half-assing implicit to leading “balanced lives”? Is that why every Harvard student has learned the priceless skill of bull shitting in section? I’m not saying that you can’t be good and successful at a whole array of activities. But is it still possible to be 100% passionate about all those things? As much as I’d like to dedicate myself entirely to the classes that I love (the existentialist material of Religion and the moral philosophy of Social Studies), there are so many other things that I love doing equally. For instance, I learned more from the launch of the Say Yes To Drugs campaign than I ever could from the inside of a classroom—in other words, it was worth missing a couple lectures and leaving some reading assignments to the following week.

Have I outgrown my overachieving self? Probably not. But if you ask me, we’re all overeager and that’s part of Harvard’s beauty. What we probably should learn, however, is that nobody’s superman (or woman). Nobody should expect to fully dedicate him or herself to every single commitment. And EVERYBODY should remember to sleep, rest, relax, and have some fun. Otherwise, you’ll end up in the condition that I was in last week- with bloodshot, puffy eyes and massive bags under my eyes, equivalent to those of my mother.

Safe and Sound

Given the recent incident at Yale and the shooting at Harvard last spring, it’s hard not to wonder about safety on a college campus. And yet there’s something about living at the same place where you take classes, meet with teachers, socialize with friends, etc. that makes us feel quite safe at our temporary, four-year home. We spot HUPD around the Square, blue lights along pathways, and ID swipes at every door, and suddenly it’s as if we’re safer than ever.

But don’t ever let your guard down. Consider how cautious one feels when stepping into foreign territory, when walking through a reputably “shady” neighborhood, when touring another country alone—we should learn how to maintain those sentiments throughout our seemingly mundane, daily lives.  Obviously don’t be paranoid, but be sensible, street smart and simply put, have some common sense (something many of us in this world of the ivory tower undoubtedly lack).

A comment a friend of mine made today inspired me to ponder the following: a guy can go “couch surfing” across Europe and it’s no big deal—but very few girls can choose to do the same. If they do, they’re somewhat reckless or maybe even stupid.

I responded that I’d go couch surfing any day. Well maybe not couch surfing, but I’d definitely travel around the world via hostels- and I’d probably like it better if I were alone. This summer, on the very first day that I spent in Istanbul, I dropped my bags off at the dorms then immediately went off on my own to the nearest city center. I didn’t know any Turkish and wasn’t even carrying a guidebook. And to be honest, I liked that I had absolutely no idea where I was going because it was more exhilarating that way. The men making inappropriate comments and the shopkeepers rudely yelling my way didn’t faze me.  I had my guard up, held my purse close to my waist, and didn’t look any passersby in the eye.

I felt safe. Of course, the second I called home and told my mother that I had gone wandering alone, she yelled at me and told me never to travel alone again.

To my defense, I am extra careful when traveling by my lonesome. What bothers me is how I lose even that slightest bit of precautionary nerves when I’m in the comfort of "home", walking around Manhattan or Cambridge. I can recall numerous instances where I've been alone, walking along the Charles late one night deep in existential contemplation. Or returning from a party in the quad all by my lonesome at around 4 am. If you ask me, those actions are ten times dumber than my adventures wandering through Istanbul’s meandering streets.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is just be safe. I’ve walked around Harvard by myself in the wee hours of the morning and typically have my guard down. And I'm most definitely not an anomaly. But considering all the accidents and crimes that have happened around here, I must learn to change my ways...and hopefully you'll consider doing the same.

Oh well, at least we’re not in New Haven…

Say Yes To Drugs!

A new post is in the works, but in the meantime, please check out the Say Yes To (generic) Drugs campaign that my peers and I have been working on! It's a campaign advocating global access to essential medicines. As a leading research institution, Harvard has the power to lead the way in changing licensing so that generic production of life-saving technologies is possible!

If you're a university affiliate, please consider the following:

Every year 10 million people die from treatable illnesses because high drug prices make essential medications and therapies inaccessible in developing countries… 

HARVARD CAN CHANGE THAT!

The Harvard College Global Health and AIDS Coalition 

The Harvard Black Men’s Forum and Association of Black Harvard Women 

The South Asian Men’s Collective and The South Asian Women’s Collective

present: 

SAY YES TO (GENERIC) DRUGS

A campaign for global access to essential medicines

Harvard plays a critical role in producing life-saving medical technologies and in distributing these medicines to the developing world. The "Say Yes To Drugs" campaign asks Harvard to negotiate licenses to require pharmaceutical companies to permit generic production of these technologies. 

Here’s what YOU can do:

1. Check out our YouTube video to learn more about the campaign (and take a study break):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZNyjkvi_5w

 2. Sign our petition to demonstrate that students care:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/EssentialMedicines/

 3. Read our op-ed in The Crimson

http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=529079

4. Come to the speaker event with Dr. Matt Craven of PIH, Saturday 5pm in Boylston

 4. Roll out to the charity dance Saturday, 9.26.09 10pm in Northwest Labs 

(raising funds for NGOs Asha and Partners in Health)

Hey...Be Mine?

In my student-oriented mind, a new academic year is nearly more momentous than an actual new year. Which is why it seemed appropriate to make a “new year's resolution.” Asking my roommate to watch my back, I declared: no more casual hookups. A new year calls for a new mentality, right? And for me this is more of a call to follow my heart- that hopeless romantic within me, yearning to be swept off my feet via traditional, old-fashioned romance. But as I considered the notion further, I gradually realized that perhaps my expectations of finding “the one” are skewed by this attitude of unending romanticism.

After a regrettable night during freshman spring, I struck this same deal with my roommate. Less than 3 weeks later I immediately disregarded my resolution after I met a compassionate, cute senior at a party who after an hour, effortlessly made me smile. Yeah, it was just casual happenstance, but I did begin to wonder whether the line between hookups and dating has been increasingly blurred together with the advent of new terms like “friends with benefits.”

***In this day and age, have casual hookups become the common route towards dating/ meeting that special someone? Or will there always be a gnawing instinct that the person you casually hooked up with late one night and the one you’ll eventually take home to meet the parents are distinctly different people?

Of course, this concern remains specific to the sphere of college life- or at least that which I’ve observed in my own little student experience. But perhaps it is telling of the social protocol to be engrained in our future. On my last weeks in Istanbul, I met an older guy at a bar one night and we immediately hit it off, talking for nearly 5 hours. He could make me laugh and no, there was no alcohol to blame. Did we hook up? Yes. Did he then ask me out for coffee the next day, and continue to ask me out nearly everyday for the next two weeks? Yes. That’s when I noticed that I had no idea what I was doing- were we dating or just hooking up? Are those labels insignificant, anyways? Does anybody else feel like our generation’s gradually throwing traditional social rules out the window?

Not that I’m only searching for “the one", but I do think for the sake of my own happiness, perhaps its time to re-envision my old-fashioned dreams of romance. Growing up, I would listen to stories of my parents’ serendipitous meeting—they were the only people poolside at a resort in Singapore and the towel boy, seeing from their names that they were both Japanese, strategically set my father up right next to my mother’s lounge chair. And so their relationship began, leading to a marriage of more than 20 years. 

But maybe it’s about time to accept that even if that initial moment of meeting may not be so story-perfect, what matters is that there’s someone to love in the first place. Is my "new year's resolution" unnecessary? One of these days, could a casual hookup lead to my true love?

 

Technology Isn't Always Heaven

Apparently supermarkets have discovered a cost-cutting investment that eliminates the need for hiring cashiers—automatic check-out machines. I came across this innovation when doing some errands today, and thank goodness I was there, because my mother was extremely confused. Given the recent sub-prime crisis, it seems to be a timely technological entrance for struggling grocery store companies. Of course this probably means that a ton of workers have been laid off, but bonus to us as consumers: you can now do your groceries without any human interaction at all! Even if you choose to sidestep that tempting option of ordering groceries online and make that big decision to get your physical self out your front door and into a world of real people, you don’t even have to say a word to anybody! Walk determinedly to the nearby grocery store, gather what you need, swipe those item bar codes into the machine, slip out the exit without a word, and plop yourself back inside your home, safe from the external environment and most likely in the world of cyberspace.

I’m scared…legitimately frightened that the days of personal one-on-one interactions are over. Slowly, we’re drifting into a world where serendipitous encounters on the street are diminishing (try imagining the plot of the film Serendipity playing out today—instead, you’d have them hunting each other down via facebook and immediately entering a serial texting relationship).

As technology and globalization have developed over the past decade, our generation has undergone a dramatic shift in the social sphere. We live in an era in which twitter (potentially just an excuse for creepy, obsessive stalking), dating websites, facebook, online shopping and unlimited texting are the norm. How many people spend endless hours on their computer when they could be outside, actually interacting with their local community? Makes me wonder whether my previous blog post about the supposed, aloof individualism and oblivion of American students simply stems from generational rather than culture differences.

Trust me, I love what all this innovation has to offer. I use skype, facebook, my iPhone, etc. admittedly too much. But I miss the days when the computer was a huge desktop in my living room and instead, my family would sit with each other to pass the time. The days when my friends weren’t on their blackberries/iPhones non-stop whilst sitting at a meal with me. When dating was about fate and chance run-ins rather than facebook stalking a friend of a friend.

As more and more industries are outsourced, America needs to focus on those non-tradable goods- and I think that some success lies in personal services that involve actual human interaction. Why do people favor the Apple genius bar over calling Dell’s customer service set up in India? Because, no matter what technologies are created, we’re only human. We thrive when surrounded by and immersed into the company of other people. If anything, I hope that this post convinces those all too many Harvard loners who sit in their room 24/7 to take a leap of faith and see what happens when you actually dine/study/relax amongst your peers, i.e. when you dare to speak to passersby, converse with your peers, and step into the world of reality.